Due to unforeseen circumstances, I have to leave. It’s a sad decision but I have to. At first it was not easy to make this decision and it was not easy to transfer islands. I filled 3 huge boxes of my stuffs from here. Imagine! I almost had a life, or I had a life here. Oh, Cebu.
You were the reason I lived. My parents prayed to the Sto. Niño to have me. Every travel that we have we never fail to visit you.
Time came and I decided to study with you. University of San Carlos. I had a great time stressing out. It was hard and tiring, but it was worth it. I learned a lot.
Even though you’re sizzling hot, too hot for me, I did endure it as I try to finish my studies. I became an expert fanner (if there is such a word).
I made friends with your people and they were the best humans I’ve ever met. They were the friends that I’ll never forget.
You have fast cars. Really. Fast cars that would take my breath away as my life flashes before my eyes. So fast that they could beat African cheetahs.
Cebu, you were great.
Ok. My flight is being called. I’ll be home in a bit, and it’s for good. So, I guess I’ll see you around, Cebu?
People come and go.
I just realized that leaving people, especially those people who became a part of your life, sucks. But, sometimes there are those unforeseen circumstances that needs an instant life-changing decision. That just happened to me.
I am leaving Cebu. I am leaving the University of San Carlos. I am leaving the Department of Political Science. It’s a sad time for me as I have made a life in here. I was at least happier than I was before. Then, I became depressed, been thinking negatively and it lead to me failing my thesis. It was depressing. Again. After I found that out I couldn’t function well for 2 weeks. It affected my health, also because I am not good in handling stress positively. I became stagnant. Albeit my parent’s advice (‘It’s not the end of the world. There are more difficult adult problems than that.’), for me it was the end of my world. I was thinking that I had nothing left to do anymore.
My parents helped me recover, and during the recovery, I looked at the path further. I realized that I might have only 2 subjects in my final year. Imagine that. I’ll only go back here in Cebu to take one subject in every semester. Nope.
That made me decide to leave. It was hard at first, but it was the best decision. And this is why I have to fill up 3 huge boxes with my things in the dorm. God, I do have tons of things.
It happened fast. Next semester, instead of wearing green plaid pants and light cream colored blouse with the letters U, S, and C embroidered on it, I’ll be immaculate. I’ll be white and pure as the freshly fallen snow. Back to the roots. Back to the roots.
It was a hard decision, but it has to be done. Saying goodbye is hard, that’s why I prefer to say ‘See you around’.
See you around, Cebu.
Soon, I’ll be packing up my stuffs. Soon, I’ll leave the first university I’ve been. I’m not graduating, but due to some unfortunate circumstances, I decided to go back to my homebase.
I’ve changed a lot. A lot happened that molded and bruised me to what I am now. A lot knew that I did hold grudges against people whom I considered to be in my hit list – those were the people in my high school. My college friends were the kind of lot I could hang onto. I matured with them, and they were the kind of people that I want to hang out with. No fakes, no pretentions, no worries.
People say that I was hanging out with the ‘cool uni kids’. Yeah, they might be right. When I turned legal I get invited to parties everywhere, get to dress up a lot, stuffs like that. Yeah, that was fun. I might consider myself a ‘cool kid’, the thing is, what makes me different from all these cool kids?
Along with that, I became a different person than I was before. I might still be that shy girl, but I just realized I tend to feel superior to those who are in my hit list. Not all but to some. Is this because of my uni experience or high school? That is the constant question. But I always shrug it off.
I might be so sassy at times. Sometimes I like to hold on to that but it annoys people.
Those are some of the changes that I’ve been through. As the next academic year opens for me, I become so nervous, but I have to deal with it. What am I to do?