To be honest there are a lot of things going on in my head. I know I shouldn’t over think about it but I am over thinking. So far I am smiling and being happy. Yes, I am happy because I am. But inside my head, I keep on asking myself the why, how and what. Why that happened? How come it wasn’t me? What does she have that I don’t? i know I can’t answer that first question but I know the answers for the two.
How come it’s not me? Simple. I’m just an ordinary girl. I don’t have those countless sashes and crowns and trophies. Only countless guitar picks and journals and books. I don’t go up the stage in a gown and answer crappy questions. I do nothing. The stage is for people like her. People don’t find me appealing. I’m just nothing. Just another someone. I have nothing.
What does she have that I don’t? I already answered that. Another thing, she’s pretty. Of course I’m not. No wonder he chose her. Go. If he loves her then go. You two are meant. That just means I’m meant for someone else. Not him, maybe better than him. Good.
My friends thought I’m disappointed. Actually I’m not. I don’t care. He likes her, fine. They can continue their business. I won’t be nosing around. I won’t pray for their breakup. I’ll just keep calm and carry on.
Seriously, I just smile. No one knows what’s going on in my head. Only me. And I know deep inside I am happy. It just shows that he is not the one God wants me to be with. Maybe he’s just somewhere. When before I am so negative towards things like this, now I keep my head high and hopes higher.
These are just my thoughts. But I am happy, albeit I received the inevitable heart ache.